Today – you don’t know it

Tomorrow – you will.

 Will you still hug me, smile at me,

 love me, be my friend - then?

Do you know what it’s like

When your inmost pain

Becomes your outmost feature?

Like a massive melanoma on the tip of the nose

All you will see?

All you will notice?

All you will be able to think about?

When you know.

If you look down on me

Pity me

Withdraw from me

Sermonize me

From a place of superiority

Or of judgement

I may scream (At least on the inside)

May strangle you (At least in my trembling)

May run from you

But in real proximity

For a very long time

Or till I think you’re safe once again

“ *So will you still love me?

Grieve WITH me?

HOPE with me?

Even pity me – but from a level place?

One where you recall and are grateful

For your own forgiveness from fallenness?

Perhaps not the double of this

But your own unique secrets?”

If you will  “*all the above”

Or maybe just some as you reconcile to it

I may just hurl myself into your arms of safekeeping

I long for your prayers

I long for your light

I have not travelled this way before.