Oh no: she’s not going to write about abortion is she?
Yep.
The abortion clinic most local to us was in the local newspapers a year or two ago when it opposed the opening of a child care centre in the same street (next door I think). It was felt the clientele of the child care centre might be upsetting to their own. In the end, the child care centre had permission to go ahead and the abortion clinic was instructed to build a fence.
The clinic sits on a side street of our most local shopping district. I only realised exactly where it was when I had to visit an admin building situated directly opposite. The clinic signage didn’t give much away, but the woman’s name that it was named after tweaked my memory so I went home and looked it up on the net. In the years since, while that admin block was still housed opposite that clinic, you would sometimes see small groups of faithful and brave women sitting on the street verge in prayer.
Some may scorn that idea but I applaud it. They were DOING something. These were people whose convictions enabled them to be both physically and emotionally out of their comfort zones. And, when you think about abortion - the issues, factors, legal processes, views on morality etc etc etc - are all so huge, we are reminded that prayer is the most effective tool in reach.
Praise God for the pray-ers.
Praise God for those who work at law reform.
Praise God for those who dare to be outspoken.
Praise God for those who offer alternative care for the unexpectedly pregnant.
Abortion fills me with despair at every level – apart from the place where as a child of God I sit on His knee in my prayers… I imagine with His tears mingling with mine… and those of countless others across Time.
HEB 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
DT 33:12b "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders."
I think of my friend who 30 years on from a parentally forced abortion in her teens -who can still barely speak of it. She knows she’s received forgiveness, but she still grieves.
I think of my teenage friend whose life led her to see her 3 abortions as nothing more than a contraceptive option. I’ve not seen her in over 20 years to know how she’s faring today.
I think of my friends with disabled children. I watch the acceptance of their friends, the love of their families and the joy of the children’s achievements.
I think of my friend who was told “Downs Syndrome” in early pregnancy with the ‘options’ being made clear to her. I think of this dear little girl now one year old – and who doesn’t have Downs.
I think of our oldest son (nearly 16) whose plumbing workmate was called to clear a blockage in a waste machine of a Perth hospital. This boy’s revulsion of this particular task and our sons’ outrage at such a thing.
I think of those who may undergo Breast cancer and never know the link…
I think of our baby… currently 33 weeks in-utero. Just 5 weeks beyond the 28 week allowable usage period for the RU486 abortion pill. I think it’s interesting that there seems to be no more discussion regarding blobs of tissue. The community doesn’t feel the need to protest on that front anymore. I’ve been watching the progress of my ‘blob of tissue’ every week on the internet: www.baby2see.com
I think of our oldest daughter (nearly 17) who mentioned recently that she’d heard of her first peer who’d possibly had an abortion just recently. She wasn’t sure of the rumour/fact status of this, yet I watched her heart, mind and expression struggle in preference of the rumour option - no matter how terrible that kind of rumour would be, as rumour would be less terrible than the fact. Her hearts protective mechanism doesn’t want to face the sadness and helplessness for both her friend and a lost little one.
I think of my own preference to avoid knowledge and information on this subject. This avoidance being due to three main areas I see in me… sadness, outrage and helplessness. It’s too big. Too hard. Too ingrained. Having said that, there is much we can do, yet that sense of helplessness at the monstrosity (double meaning intended) of it all prevails. We can write letters, be involved in groups and protests, support the support agencies that offer choices for life, sign the petitions and be in touch with politicians etc. I agree and encourage all of that yet here I write what matters most to me (I think) which is an effort to make this personal rather than a news topic only affecting other people.
We all interact with other people every day. As God’s people we are meant to have the ability to be lighthouses of hope.
We all know people affected by abortion… we might just not know that fact about them. Some perhaps are not ready to be that hope to someone else that is post abortion – we’re too busy looking down our nose in horror without stopping to see that the possible only difference between ‘them’ and ‘us’ is a conception. How many married Christians today - without the sins of past impurity – can ‘afford’ to walk in judgement?
2CO 5:16-21 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
COL 1: 20 and through him [Jesus] to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
Within the fullness of God’s character we are to first be reconciled to Him through His blood and forgiveness, and then to bring His love to others – the lost, the grieving, the difficult, the fallen and the forgiven.
Even forgiven, we need His nature and outworking in different measures in different places of our being…
Love
Joy
Peace
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Meekness
Self control
Did you really read that list of words or did you skim over them because of their familiarity? Have a think what areas you need differing measures of the Holy Spirit within your being!
The Adrian Plass books “Stress Family Robinson” 1 & 2 are favourites of mine. The main characters are the Robinson family members and their older single female friend whom they affectionately refer to a ‘Dip’.
One small mystery of this book is why Dip keeps a bottle of bubble mix on her bed-side table.
Dip comes and goes from the Robinson house, being a friend to each. She watches their struggles, participates in their love and hears their troubles. By the end of the second book, where Dip has been watching and listening to her friend Kathy Robinson rail about the frustrations of husband and children, Dip reveals to her friend that she had an abortion many years before, and the grief, shame and loss still haunt her every day. Kathy, in Dip’s opinion, is to be grateful for even the struggles and difficulties of family life – because she has one. A family that is.
The Robinsons - for all their ordinary faults - are Dip’s safe place. They are the place where she reaches for the help and experience of forgiveness that till then she had not known. Their home Bible-study group gathers and holds a candlelight Communion service, and she is washed in their love and acceptance.
The Phone call – Kathie to Dip:
“Dip, what did you want tot talk to me about this morning?...”
“I was so very young, you know – silly and young I was.”
Pause
Lord Jesus, please sit beside on this bed and put your arms around my shoulders and whisper in my ear the words I should say to my friend…
“Every time I see her Kathy – just about every time I see that lovely, lovely girl of yours – it crashes against my chest. Boom! It crashes against my chest every single time I see your Fli – Fli – Filicity. It hurts so much, Kathy, and it won’t go away.”
“What is it that’s hurting you Dip?”
“It’s this heavy weight, the one that got hung around my neck – so heavy – it hurts so much. I can’t get rid of it Kathy.”
She was pregnant. She had an abortion.
“Did you have to have it terminated Dip?”
“No, not terminated – wrong word altogether… Killed is the word… Killed… Had to have it done. My dad said it was the only way. Mum cried and flibbered about a bit, but she always did what he said. Our house wouldn’t stop being shivery and dark because of his… shame that went roaming and roaring around outside like a monster, blocking out the light. It was huge Kathy, so much bigger than what they killed. The thing they killed wasn’t much bigger than a grain of rice… Little tiny…”
She gave it a name.
“Dip, darling did you give the baby a name?”…
…”I’ve never said it out loud before. I’ve never dared”
As I waited Jack and Felicity came back into view up the road. Jack, Mark and Felicity. Three names and three whole people to go with them. Riches. Treasure.
“He’s called David. I mean I don’t know whether he would have been a boy or a girl but I’ve always called him David… The guilt’s been terrible, Kathy – terrible, like a great lump of concrete or something, always there, always reminding me that he could have grown up, he could have learned to walk, and he could have run and jumped and fallen over and grazed his knee and cried and I could have kissed it and put something on it to make it better. But I didn’t make it better – all I did was kill him, Kathy. I killed my little David.”
When I told Mike about it later I said that the sound of that weeping seemed to me like a lake of sea of grief that at last found a way to escape and flow evenly out of the place where it had been trapped for all those hard years.
We could have a communion service.
…For the second time in a short while things were done to the young girls’ body without the consent of her inner will, this time in the name of discretion and good sense… In her mind the hypothetical David, unborn but always sadly and accusingly present, had been waiting 40 years to hear her explain why his life had needed to end before it ever had a chance to begin
At the Communion Service:
Mike dropped his eyes so he didn’t seem to be addressing anybody in particular, and his voice became, if anything, even quieter, but the words remained crystal clear.
“All of us have to face up to and say sorry for the sins we commit in thought and words and deeds, things we should have done, and things we shouldn’t have done… “As far as you are able” continued Mike “ when the bread and the Wine comes to you, by an effort of the will, put those things down for just a moment, open up your hearts and your hands and receive the comfort ad love of God in the body and blood of His Son. It has always been kept safely for you anyway, earning interest and whatever has happened in the past, whatever happens now, and regardless of what happens in the future, nothing in heaven or on earth can take it away from you. Do it in remembrance of Him. Amen”
“Jesus is here now Dip” I said, my voice barely rising above a whisper, “and David is with Him holding His hand. In some way that we don’t understand - he’s done all his growing up and falling over and having his knees kissed better. He’s what he would have been and you can say whatever you need to say to him.”
Huge single tears reflected in the candlelight as they rolled slowly down Dip’s cheeks…
“David, Darling, I have always loved you, you know – always. I have always. I’ve thought about you every single day. I so wish we could have been together. I’m so very sorry that – that it wasn’t possible. Thankyou Jesus for loving him and looking after him for me, Please help me to let this wound heal. I never want to scar to go, but I – I honestly don’t think I can stand the pain any more.” She let her head drop on my shoulder like an exhausted child. “Cant say any more…”
STRESS FAMILY ROBINSON 2 – Adrian Plass
Available through Koorong and Word Bookstores.
www.koorong.com.au (Australia)
www.word.com.au (Australia)
www.christianbook.com (USA)
And the bubbles?
They were to help her regulate her breathing on nights when the pain of grief brought waves of panic.
Back to our homes:
If your 6 year old daughter tells you she’s ‘in love’ – as well as training in righteousness, will you be the safe place to talk if there is a next time?
If your 8 year old son tells you in shame that he participated in an off-colour conversation - as well as training in righteousness, will you be the safe place to talk if there is a next time? Will you be there to sooth back to sleep something that had no business being wakened?
If your 10 year old daughter goes on a camp and comes home to tell you she witnessed a couple who had no shame - will you be the safe place to talk and heal? Will you be there to sooth back to sleep something that had no business being wakened?
If your 17 year old son tells you he struggles with temptation to look at porn - as well as instructing in righteousness will you love him without reserve? Will you soothe, encourage, lead and sacrifice for his good? Will you be a safe place he knows he can talk and find help?
If your unmarried 22 year old daughter comes home to tell you she is having a baby - will you be a safe welcome for a child that could have been aborted - and you never have known?
In relationship to others:
Will we be their ‘safe place’? A place of hope, healing, and direction?
This is not about double standards, it’s about LOVE being bigger than it all - for love is not truth alone, but truth with … rejoicing, …patience, …kindness, ...humility, …hope, …perseverance, …gentleness, …respect, and of …response to being about the Master’s business of reconciliation with those He loves to Himself.
If you have young people in your care or influence who may need equipping for decision making on abortion someday – I highly recommend you making use of the video clips on www.virtuemedia.org Go to “Ad Portfolio”, then “Films”, then “Truth” to see a 4 ½ minute film. These clips are not graphic in content but are highly impacting as many post abortive women give their stories.
If you are looking for health information regarding the link to breast cancer – I highly recommend the website www.abortionbreastcancer.com This site includes advice for women who have had abortions regarding preventative measures and ongoing screening. (This site also mentions the link from the pill – particularly from early teen use - with breast cancer).
If you are looking for healing my prayer for you is that like “Dip” in the books mentioned above, you will find safe people and places that will bring you comfort and healing as others become the hands and feet of Jesus to you.
There is lots of help available. The websites below have on-line resources, resources for sale, counselling and international links. There are differing styles and focus on each so keep looking till you find what you need. (Thanks Carol for helping me source these).
Websites focusing on (or including help for) healing and freedom after abortion
www.projectgrace.com
www.postabortionpain.com
www.safehavenministries.com
www.afterabortion.org
www.survivorsofabortion.org.au
www.healinghearts.org – Has free online Bible Studies for woman and men seeking freedom after abortion.
www.rachelsvineyard.org – Runs retreats all over the world for post abortive women in need of healing (including most Capital cities of Australia)
www.projectrachel.org.au
www.pregnancycounselling.com.au/services.htm
Australia (Perth) Abortion Grief Counselling Association – (08) 9450 6091.
www.pregnancyassistance.org.au
Pregnancy Assistance – (08) 9328 2929. 195 Lord St East Perth
Or for further information about the issues:
www.abortiontv.com
www.life.org.nz
www.abortionconcern.org
www.justthefacts.org
