When we string points and conclusions together with words like “so” and “because” we can make statements that seem well reasoned and entirely logical. I believe we need to see these joining words (so, because etc) as little red flags waving for our attention. If we are willing to examine these statements we will sometimes (though not always!!) find poor reasoning - and poor logic and decisions based on human thought/feeling and not on Biblical reason.
Consider these statements… they follow a logical pattern… they are real opinions I have heard expressed by genuine people. Perhaps by you! Perhaps by me too!!
Statement a) “My mother was such a prude so because I don’t want my children to grow up with the same hang-ups as me about their bodies, we make sure our kids see us nude so they don’t grow up ashamed of their bodies”
Here I see logic yes – but also:
Judgement of the mother’s behaviour (described as a prude) as wrong. Was she? We don’t know!
Conclusion that the adult daughter’s hang ups are in fact hang ups and not perhaps natural proper inbuilt modesty.
Blame – the mother is the cause of her issues.
Conclusion leading to a course of action based on the blame and judgement of the mother.
Assumption that the chosen course of action will have her desired outcome in the children.
No thought of other possible negative outcomes for that course of action.
No thought of Biblical principle guiding action. Forgiveness, responsibility, or whether modesty should govern nudity in the home.
The Word doesn’t have any double standards. Think about:
Psalm 101:2b I will walk in my house with blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing.
Psalm 101:2 I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.
Statement b) “The reason I behaved so dangerously with alcohol as a teenager was because my parents were so against it they never taught me to handle it responsibly so we are going to allow our children to taste our drinks at home when we have a wine at night, to help them get used it and not get drunk when they go out because their bodies will be used to having alcohol in their system. We think it’s important that they learn how to handle alcohol responsibly and from us”.
Again we do see logic… it’s all been reasoned out…. But we also see:
Judgement
Blame
Lack of responsibility for own teenage choices
Sidestepping – “behaving dangerously” not irresponsibly or in defiance or deception
Conclusions as to course of action for own children based on the above
Assumption that the chosen course of action will bring the desired result
No thought of other possible negatives
No thought of Biblical principle guiding action.
Statement c) “I felt like such a fool when kids at school talked about sex. I didn’t have a clue about anything – my parents never talked about anything like that. I plan to tell my kids everything as early as possible so they’ll never have to feel like I did and I’ll know they *hear the right thing. I don’t think it’s fair to let kids grow up thinking sex is dirty”.
Logic and reason yes… what else do we see?
Assumption that feeling stupid is the worst outcome of being exposed to sex talk in the playground at school.
Feelings governing decisions. “I FELT stupid so…”
Over-reliance on lack of information being the problem. Perhaps not examining lack of relationship as the catalyst for lack of information.
Blame
Conclusion as to course of action
Assumption that the course of action will bring the desired result
No thought of other possible negatives
No thought of other guiding principles such as a child’s physical, emotional or moral readiness for information.
Little thought of Biblical principle guiding action. (There is some thought… * “Hear the right thing”)
Open window into parents own thought at some point in the journey that sex must be dirty
No recognition that the sex being dirty assumption was caused by mere lack of information when in truth there may have been another contributor to this thought.
We are ALL guilty of such reasoning. That’s why I mentioned the joining words being as flags. We ALL need to examine our reasoning and logic - yet we mostly blunder on through without the prompt to stop and think. I pray we ALL might allow the Holy Spirit to get our attention.
Having a thought out reason for an action does not alone assure us of the desired outcome. Nor that the course of action is right or best or biblical.
